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INTERJACULATED Honest swine driver," ejaculated the major, "being versed in the mysteries of human nature, and never judging men by their occupations, I took you for a gentleman; and as such, I am certain, had you but known the high quality of my [u... Posted by airmaxone on Nov 13, 2011 21:30 (188 days ago) |
Honest swine driver," ejaculated the major, "being versed in the mysteries of human nature, and never judging men by their occupations, I took you for a gentleman; and as such, I am certain, had you but known the high quality of my louis vuitton outlet reputation, you would not have insulted me." "That all may be," interjaculated he of the weary face. "You have, p'raps, heard of Major Roger Sherman Potter? That's my name," resumed the major, a smile of confidence lighting up his features, as he extended his right hand, and patted the swine driver good naturedly upon the shoulder with his left. "I bear no man malice, am known over the country as Major Potter, the honest in trade and strong in politics." "I have myself had something to do with politics," moodily muttered the swine driver, relieving his shoulder of the steelyards. And while this colloquy was proceeding, the herd nestled down upon the ground to rest. One, more sagacious than his fellows, made a companion of the dog, at whose side he stretched himself, and laid his head upon his shoulder with an air of kindness and affection quite uncommon to his species. "That pig," spoke the swine driver, "seems a more cunning brute than our New York politicians, for he makes friends with his enemy, and by that means secures his peace, if not his services. He has conciliated the good that is in the dog, and now the dog is his firm friend. He will let that pig have the better half of his meal, while he would not permit another to come within barking distance of his trough." Here the swine driver entered upon a history of this sagacious animal, which it will be necessary to preserve for a future chapter in this history. It may, however, be well here to say, as well for the benefit of the reader as for the instruction of mankind in general, that Felix Shulbert (for such was the swine driver's name) bought him of Father Fenshew, a poor priest of great learning, who had so cultivated the pig's understanding, that he could give his approval or dissent to the canons of the church quite as well as some popular members of the ecclesiastical councils of which the reverend and very learned Father was an ornament. As to politics, he knew a great deal more of them, notwithstanding he mixed less with those who made them a profession. "Now, tell us, honest man, what through life has befallen burberry scarf thee to produce this sadness?" inquired the facetious major, adding, that he saw the tale of his trouble written in his face. The swine driver replied, that disappointment, and the malice of enemies, and the false reports of evil minded damsels, had reduced him to poverty, and poverty had forced him into the trade of swine selling, which he followed in the hope of getting a living that would be acceptable to heaven. An air of deeper sadness now overshadowed his countenance, and raising the coarse straw hat from his head, he wiped the sweat from his safron-colored brow, and heaved a sigh. The major having introduced me to the herdsman as the greatest politician Cape Cod had ever given the world, drew forth his never failing flask, which he said contained a panacea for all ills of the mind, and enjoined him to partake. The man exhibited no timidity in accepting the invitation, for having taken two or three swallows, he smacked his lips in approval, and said, he already felt it mellowing his temper. He then searched in his wallet, and finding some crusts and a ham bone, threw them to his dog, who generously shared them with his companion, the pig. This done, we took seats by the roadside, while the drover began, in brief, to recount his troubles. Educated for a divine, he took orders, and for a series of years preached with much success to his congregation and honor to himself. At length an evil day came, and with it a spirit of malice that leveled its shafts at his bachelorhood, crept into his church. Unfortunately he had declared his determination not to marry in the presence of several venerable matrimony-mongers, and the result was, that so many slanders louis vuitton sunray were got up against him, that his church became a bed of thorns continually pricking him. "My heart, which heaven can bear witness, is tender enough, became overburdened with grief," said he, his eyes filling with tears, as he wiped the sweat from his sun-burned brow, "for it seemed as if the whole church had turned its back upon me, and so many were the plans laid to effect my downfall, by those who should have held me up, that even the mantle of St. Peter could not have saved me. Thus, it was said that I had made too free with my housekeeper, who, in some things, was a good enough woman, but (and it was well known to the parish), little could be said for her virtue. Heaven knows I had never in my whole life permitted an evil thought concerning her to invade my mind; and yet she was got to bring against me a charge so grave that we will pass it over without a name. Your must, however, remember that this was the work of my enemies, whom heaven forgive, as I freely forgive them, such being the glory of charity, which is the truest religion. Indeed, sir, it was said that I did this woman grievous harm, and the parish rose up in her defence, and, what is more, set her up as a model of injured innocence. I could only protest my innocence, and pray what chance is there for innocence against the voice of calumny? "Then this was the penalty of your bachelorhood? You shouldlouis vuitton wallets remember, brother, that so good a chance to become a father as that which is offered to the pastor of a flourishing congregation should never be lost; and he who fails to embrace it, evinces a want of wisdom the clergy would do well never to betray," said the major, begging that his newly made friend would proceed with his story. "As I never disdain friendship, (hoping the rudeness of my remarks at our meeting may find pardon in my sorrow,) I will give a respite to my tongue by quenching my thirst with another sup of the contents of that flask, for it gives me much relief in body as well as in mind." The major was only too glad to grant his request; and having passed him the flask, he said, as the other raised it to his mouth, he hoped it would transfer the hidden secrets of his heart to the light of day, since nothing pleased him more than a recital of the sorrows of the forlorn ambitious. And here he of the swine, and he of the tin traps, continued to converse most strangely, the latter sympathizing with every new sorrow, of which the former seemed to have a never ending supply. "Being in a remote village of Pennsylvania," resumed he of the sorrows, "and having neither trade nor friends, I thought to get my living by teaching school; butBurberry Wallet the shafts of scandal followed me, and the honest and simple-minded villagers thought it wise not to have their children taught by one who had attempted the virtue of an innocent. I saw nothing but to take to politics, which I did much against my sense of self respect, it being a profession requiring those who followed it to live a vagabond life, as well as to become the associate of vagabonds and mischief making priests. I took a strong part in a presidential campaign" ("Jist like me," interrupted the major), "and being on the successful side, as wise men always are, I went to Washington in the hope that my services would be rewarded by a grateful government. But in this there was a mistake, for the government seemed to have forgotten every thing but the slanders against my character; and though the hussy whose oath had sealed my doom was removed to Washington, where she was atoning for her outraged virtue by practicing the arts of the fair but frail, it neither lessened the sting of my misfortunes, nor restored me my character. She had sworn falsely, when her morals were no better than they should be. She now offered to do me justice by swearing to the truth; but so public had become the character she bore, that though she might swear to the truth of her own falsehood a thousand times, no one would believe her. It was curious to see the anomaly of my position; for while I could have poured out a flood of lamentations at the want of virtue in Congress, no one valued my own of sufficient weight to be recommended for an office. Congress, that had no virtue, or if it had, its quality was too hard for use, was for ever standing in admiration of its beauty and whiteness, as a member or two since expelled had been pleased to call it, and was as scrupulous of having itBurberry Handbags called in question as a coy damsel. I who had virtues, was cast out because the color of it, as seen through the spectacles of my enemies, was not as white as alabaster. Ah, I have wiped the sweat from my fevered brow, and thought what a wrong-headed world we had-many a time! Every man has a history worth relating, or he must be a poor being in the measure of his kind; but I am afraid mine is becoming barren of entertainment. |
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